This isn’t about becoming a better person by 8 a.m. No goal setting. No miracle habits. And no waking up at five unless that’s your thing.

It has become mine, mostly because my husband and Otis wake me up every morning. If you can’t beat them, join them and all.

That said, you might need to wake up a little earlier if you’re already rushing through your morning. It will be worth it. This is about carving out a small amount of time each morning so you aren’t starting your day already behind, irritated, or quietly resentful of everyone who’s about to need something from you.

This is self-focus, not selfishness.

I know we were taught those two things are the same. They’re not. You can be kind, generous, and deeply caring and still take a little time to check in with yourself before the world starts prying open the door.

Will you do all of this every day? Unlikely. I don’t. But I do it most days, and it refills my energy before the outside world starts trying to steal it.

The goal isn’t perfection. It’s frequency. This is about being on your own side for a change. Setting yourself up for a good day before you set everyone else up.

My Morning Routine

I Meditate

Not the sit-cross-legged, hands-in-my-lap, gentle-smile-on-my-angelic-face kind of meditating.

I do it as soon as my eyes open, still lying on my back, hair matted to my head from a hot flash in the middle of the night. And I do not do it in silence. That would mean Becky in My Mind would take over the entire session, and I would finish my meditation hating myself and my life.

I use the Insight Timer app and usually choose guided meditations focused on relaxing the muscles in my face and body. I do not know what happens to me while I sleep, but based on how I wake up, there is a solid chance I spend the night battling demogorgons in the Upside Down.

I Hydrate My Skin and My Body

I wash my face at night, so in the morning I just splash it with cold water and then apply my oil and lotion.

I also drink an eight-ounce glass of water while I do my skincare and make my coffee. It helps with a lot of things, including regularity. If ya know what I mean.

I Journal

When people think of journaling, they often imagine something profound and moving is being written.

In the words of John Bender, not even close, bud.

Most days, my morning writing is just me unloading whatever is clogging my brain. Who annoyed me. What I’m stressed about. What needs to get done today or this week. Anything taking up too much space gets dumped onto the page.

It clears things out. Sometimes it heals something too. And it makes space for a little more happiness.

If journaling is not your thing, that is fine. Substitute it with something else that is for you. Maybe that means reading a few pages of a book. Maybe it is a crossword puzzle. Maybe it is putting together a few puzzle pieces like Matthew McConaughey apparently does.

The point is not the journal itself. The point is doing something that belongs to you before the day belongs to everyone else.

I Make My Bed

I like to check boxes. It feels good. And this is one easy way to feel accomplished before the day even really starts.

Make bed. Check.

For the record, I do not make my bed the second I get out of it. I circle back after coffee. Making the bed before coffee feels aggressive.

Create a Morning Space That Beckons You Back

This part matters more than people think.

When your morning space is calm and ready, you are much more likely to sit, write, sip, and actually take this time for yourself. Creating a cozy space that is always ready for you supports the habit without making it feel like another task on your list.

It has become one of my favorite parts of the day.

Each morning I sit in the same spot at the end of my sofa for journaling and coffee. There is a soft pillow I keep there and an even softer blanket. I like my space cozy and beckoning.

In the winter, I keep the lighting low, just candles and the fire, and I use a clip-on book light to see my journal during the darker months.

A few other essentials make it feel complete: a lap desk, my favorite Sharpie fine point pen, the fancy Scriveiner pen JJ got me for Christmas, my spiral-bound bullet journal, my outrageously expensive mug with a lid filled with a single-shot oat milk latte, and my Sony headset that not only blocks out the noise around me but also sends a clear signal to everyone else in the house that I am currently off-limits.

You do not need a perfect routine or a perfect setup. You just need a few minutes that belong to you before the world starts asking.

Start small. Stay consistent. And notice how your days begin to feel when you stop giving yourself last place first thing in the morning.